Jonggetroude persone se belewing van hulle skoonouers se rol in hulle huwelik

Abstract

YOUNG MARRIED COUPLES' EXPERIENCE OF THE ROLE PLAYED BY THEIR PARENTS-IN-LAW IN THEIR MARRIAGE The aim of this study was to evaluate how young married couples experience the role played by their parents-in-law in the dynamics of their marriage during the first five years of marriage. A questionnaire, which was developed according to a literature study, was used in the survey. The literature study included a theoretical validation of the role of parents-in-law with regard to the marriage dynamics of young married couples. Attention was paid to the influence exercised by the family of origin on the individual's development, later life, choice of partner and the nature of his/her love relationship with the marriage partner. Similar attention was devoted to an investigation of the influence of parents-in-law on the marriage relationship. This included factors that could lead to conflict in the relationships with family-in-law, namely permission to get married, the parents-in-law's choice of a partner for their child, loyalty to the family of origin, limitations with regard to the families-of-origin, competition, jealousy and triangle development, the mother's role in the marriage relationship of her child, the father's role in the marriage relationship of his child, transfer, projection, differences in personality traits and the birth of grandchildren. The positive influences extending from parents-in-law to young married couples, were also discussed briefly. The empirical study included a survey. The survey was conducted by means of a questionnaire made available to first-marriage couples who had been married for five years and under. The aim was to verify in practice such factors in connection with in-law relationships as were identified according to a literature study. Participants for the study were recruited by means of announcements as well as distribution of pamphlets in collaboration with Afrikaans and English churches in Potchefstroom after the ministers of these churches had been consulted personally. As a result of poor reaction to this method a variety of alternative methods were implemented, for example, chain recommendation and random sample selection. The measure instrument was a questionnaire developed by the researcher in accordance with information derived from the literature study.

Research results obtained from the empirical study revealed various similarities, but also differences, if compared to the literature study. There is a correlation between the literature study and the research results as far as a person's earlier childhood experiences in the family of origin are concerned, in that such experiences continue to exercise an influence on the person's later life. In connection with the choice of a marriage partner a difference between the literature study and the research results could be detected: in the literature more emphasis was placed on the covert factors by which the choice of a marriage partner is influenced , whereas the research participants indicated the overt factors. Most of the participants regarded the permission to get married as important, and the same finding was reflected in the literature study. The majority of participants indicated that, prior to their marriage, their parents-in-law did not create the impression that they as children-in-law were not good enough, and that they presently feel quite comfortable in the presence of their parents-in-law. Even though the literature indicated the possibility that persons often place their prospective parents-in-law on a pedestal, most of the participants stated that it was not the case. In connection with the role of a person's parents-in-law in his/her married life, it would appear that most of the participants maintain good contact with their parents-in-law while mainly enjoying a positive influence from them on their married life. The majority of participants also indicated that very little conflict exists between them and their parents-in-law. In cases where conflict does occur, male participants mainly blame it on the marriage partner's loyalty to her family of origin and a lack of respect on the part of the parents-in-law for their privacy and space as a married couple. The female respondents indicated that the mother-in-law proved to be a source of conflict, and also mentioned the marriage partner's loyalty to his family of origin as well as parents-in-law's lack of respect for their privacy and space as a married couple. In comparison the female respondents more frequently pointed out negative aspects in connection with their parents-in-law than did the male respondents. In contrast with the literature most of the females named the father-in-law as the most problematic member of the in-laws, while most of the males singled out the mother-in-law as the most problematic member. When the findings of literature and the results obtained from the research are compared, the most significant difference lies in the fact that participants did not react as negatively towards their parents-in-law as literature would have it. A possible reason for this could be that the majority of participants simply have a sound relationship with their parents-in-

law; although the possibility of denial cannot be excluded. When considering differences between literature studies and empirical studies it should be kept in mind that people are sometimes unaware of the presence of covert factors. On completion of the study the researcher was able to come to certain conclusions, to identify problems and shortcomings experienced with the research project, and to formulate recommendations for further investigation.